I've accomplished the first step. I've sold my soul to Google. In exchange, I received a gmail account, a spot on Orkut, a Blog on Blogger and unlimited access to Google/Froogle/Google images, groups and news. I have heard that others have received these same benefits without bartering their soul, but I cannot confirm these rumors, and besides, I wasn't using mine anyway, so it wasn't a big deal.
In the next few years, after Google buys up Microsoft and Intel, and owns a controlling amount of stock of the internet, they'll want their piece of the real world. Real estate, literally. So somewhere in the mid-West will blossom Googleville, a beta community. I, of course, will be among the first in line to apply for residence. Landscaping be damned, we'll all be in our lovely Googlehomes, sitting in front of our GoogleMachines computers with broadband access via our Google ISP, 24 hours a day. Blooging this, gmailing that, searching for even more entertainment. Once a week I'll trek down to GoogleMart for my supplies, maintaining my net connection with my Googleberry device. On the way back I'll stop to fill the tank of my Googlemobile at GoogleGas, then hurry back home to surf/blog/email/search some more.
Soon I'll be at Mecca, Google headquarters, heaven on Earth. I shall bathe in Googloodness. I shall feast on Googlisms. I shall share my dream of the future and secure my place in it. I will be reborn as BetaBoy©, a registered Google property.
Ah, could my future be any brighter?